AND THE
HATE MAIL POURS IN...
We at the Toilet Paper are no strangers to hate mail. But this
last issue has provoked a truly unprecidented resonse... Read on:
I have always enjoyed your "column" and have enjoyed the daily
jokes and jibes. THIS IS THE END!
It is NONE of your business what Mr & MRs Clinton do
in private! I am sure Mrs Clinton will stay with Mr Clinton!
MY husband cheated onme and I was completely willing to forgive him! I loved him and who
among us has not made mistakes? I guess
YOU have made none, becasue YOU are throwing stones!
We ALL live in glass houses. I have EVERy reason to believe that Mrs. Clinton loves
him and that she is STILL VERY proud of what her husband from "little ole
Arkansas" has done for America!!!!
I TOO am VERY glad that he is MY President. BY THE WAY:
he is hardly the first Presidnet to have an affair! He is
not even the first to have an affair in office.
YOUR HOLIER-THAN-THOU attitude is MUCH more apallling!
Who do YOU think that YOU are to criticize ANYONE else...
you make jokes about the sick, lame, less fortunate and
generally EVERYONE and you think you are above reproach!
UNSUBSCRIBE ME!!!!!!!!
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That was our favorite. Our response was actually rather
tempered:
From the Offices of The Toilet Paper-
>I have always enjoyed your "column" and have enjoyed the
daily
>jokes and jibes. THIS IS THE END!
Now you've done it. You put a description of the Toilet Paper in quotes (see last line).
*THIS* is the end. Well...this and the year 2000.
>
>It is NONE of your business what Mr & MRs Clinton do
>in private! I am sure Mrs Clinton will stay with Mr Clinton!
>
Fair enough. To be honest, I'm sick of hearing about Mr. Clinton's personal life. But it
*is* my business what Mr. Clinton does while serving as my President. And in my
estimation, his actions practically beg for public ridicule.
>MY husband cheated onme and I was completely willing to forgive
>him! I loved him and who among us has not made mistakes? I guess
>YOU have made none, becasue YOU are throwing stones!
I'm sorry to hear that, but be reasonable! I've done nothing more than paint a slightly
sarcastic picture of the situation in which Bill Clinton now finds himself. Obviously a
suggestion of suicide is hyperbole, but do you disagree that he's screwed? Anyway, these
aren't stones, these are teeny pebbles compared to The Report and Clinton's own
admissions. And just for the record, I *haven't* made any mistakes. I'm a six-year-old
school girl who hopes to become a nun when she grows up.
>We ALL live in glass houses. I have EVERy reason to believe that
>Mrs. Clinton loves him and that she is STILL VERY proud of what
>her husband from "little ole Arkansas" has done for America!!!!
>I TOO am VERY glad that he is MY President. BY THE WAY:
>he is hardly the first Presidnet to have an affair! He is
>not even the first to have an affair in office.
>
Look, I voted for Clinton twice, alright? And I don't really give a damn whether or not he
had an affair (although I think its odd that we all accept it so readily). But whether or
not other President's had affairs does not lessen what Clinton has done. Nor change the
fact that he is royally screwed (the initial point of the open letter; remember I've never
once called for his resignation or impeachment, just recognized that he's in an unpleasant
set of circumstances).
>YOUR HOLIER-THAN-THOU attitude is MUCH more apallling!
>Who do YOU think that YOU are to criticize ANYONE else...
>you make jokes about the sick, lame, less fortunate and
>generally EVERYONE and you think you are above reproach!
>
My only question to you is why you didn't write in when we made these jokes about the
sick, lame and less fortunate? Why didn't you write in when we satarized Strom Thurmond's
age or Ronald Reagan's Alzheimers? Why now? And the only reason I have a HOLIER-THAN-THOU
attitude is because I am a member of the Church Of Springer and a follower of Him (Jerry
Springer). (see http://www.thetp.com/jerry.htm ).
>UNSUBSCRIBE ME!!!!!!!!
To unsubscribe follow the directions at the bottom of the last issue.
Anyway, I do sincerely thank you for your comments. Feel free to let me know what you
think...
Joe
TP Editor In Chief
"We're on a roll!"
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More? Okay....
I realize that you think your letter about the President committing
suicide was funny. I think it was sick. I hope you never get "caught" with any
of your past. I imagine that you would commit suicide, too. Too bad. I thought TP was
rather funny. I no longer think that. Funny is funny. You stepped over the line and I
won't even report you to Mr. Starr. Please cancel my subscription to TP.
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This guy may actually have had a point.
Please REMOVE me from your list...This country has enough "talking
heads" trying to do the thinking for it. I have decided that your publication is very
aptly named and would serve that PURPOSE quite well in a printed form! I re-read
this letter to see if I could detect a humorous vein or intent to it but found NONE so I
conclude it is meant to be a serious piece of journalism that you felt deserved a
"Special" mailing. I find your own arrogant attitude at times has offended me so
this affront has just motivated me to act at this time.
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