I'd like to begin this alt text, or rollover text as it were, with the last words of a great man, who, in his infinite wisdom proclaimed, 
'THE TRUCK!'  (Joke plagarized from Emo Phillips.)  This teaches us more than to look both ways before crossing the street.
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CLINTON TRICKS CONGRESSMEN INTO CLAPPING FOR HIM!

Last evening, during his State of the Union address, still President Bill Clinton achieved the unthinkable.  He tricked hundreds of diehard Republican Congressman, sworn Clinton enemies, to applaud his vision and his efforts as President.

How did he do it?  With the subtle use of baseball hero Sammy Sosa, throwing a few dozen billion dollars at the Pentagon, and the image of Ronald Reagan's momma.

"When he promised an additional $110 billion in defense spending over the next five years, I could do nothing but stand up and applaud," growled Georgia Congressman Bob Barr.  "That slimy bastard."

Sosa's presence was also superb mastery of clapping propoganda, as the entire chamber stood to honor the man who hit 66 homeruns last season, 4 short of Clinton himself.  As the applause died down, Clinton thanked the entire room, and several hundred Republicans emitted a resounding, "Doh!" in unison.

But the deftest manuever of the evening came when Clinton held up a picture of an old woman in a wheelchair and said, "This is Ronald Reagan's momma.   I have a momma too.  I love Ronald Reagan's momma.  I think Ronald Reagan's momma is a great woman."  After a split second of silence, the entire Congress erupted into a series of boisterous cheers. 

"Oh that Clinton," said Democrat Barney Frank.  "He sure knows how to play a crowd." 


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