1. Stick your open palm under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a can of tuna?"

2. Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that."

3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

4. Say, "Damn, this water's cold."

5. Drop a marble on the floor and cry, "Oh shit! My glass eye!"

6. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh dramatically.

8. Keep repeating, "Come on men! We can do this if we all work together!" and other such inspirational phrases.

9. Remark, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."

10.Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!"

11.Say, "If only Rolf could be here to see me now. I love that dude."

19.Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall, adjust it so you can see your neighbor and ask, "So what do you think about this whole Monica Lewinsky thing?"

12.Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop the wad under the tall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here please?"

13.Say, "C'mon Mr. Wanker! Don't fall asleep on me."

14.Hail Mary’s. Lots of em.

15.Say, "So you think you have me beat Saddam? Huh, you think you have me beat?" Groan and grunt loudly. Curse Saddam.

16.Say, "Damn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"

17.Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.

18.Before you begin, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.