Now remember, no one said this was going to be any great article...we just included the translation because people get antsy about having strange things thrown in front of their faces  in languages they can't read...enjoy!

Cinco de Mayo! Mexican independence Day! We think. Or hope. Actually, we’re not exactly sure. Well, the truth is we don’t have a damn clue what the significance of this day is, but it seems like it has something to do with an independence day. And if it doesn’t, well, you can’t really blame these gringos. We only know what the executives at Corona tell us.

Damn man! What a shame that the only thing we (and by "we" we mean Americans) have learned about ole’ Cinco is it’s a day when one should get drunk on Corona. We don’t even know about real Mexican beers like Tecate. Oh well, life goes on like always. This Sunday we’ll buy cads and flowers and chocolate for our mothers, and then tools for the fathers. And when we get married, we’ll spend two months’ salary on the diamond.

Sigh. Excuse the outburst.

If you’ve gotten to this paragraph, it means one of two things: Either you’re a Spanish speaker (which is very unlikely considering that the title of this paper, a play on words, can’t even be adequately translated), or you’re a stubborn ("stubborn" originally appeared in English) bastard. Yes, I forgot how to say "stubborn" in Spanish. I’m doing this without a dictionary, but since you probably speak English, it doesn’t really matter, does it?

Once again, sigh. Okay. A quick hello to our friend Signor Karch, who is surely reading right now. Normally we don’t do personal greetings in the Toilet Paper, but since less than ten people are reading this, it doesn’t make a damn bit of difference. That is to say, I’m indifferent.